Looking on the Bright Side

My VT companion reminded me that since she made the appointments to visit our sisters I needed to share the message - I forgot!

I read the VT message in the Ensign but nothing came to me and I wasn't "feelin' it." (Click here to read the December VT message.) I started to write and it turns out that my message had nothing to do with the one I read.

December can be a hard month for people; a lot of them feel depressed amid the cheerfulness. I wanted to say that when we look on the bright side of situations we feel hope.

Here's my letter to my sisters:

December 2012

Dear Sister,

This has nothing to do with this month’s lesson, but I felt impressed to tell you it.

I love this quote by Marjorie Hinckley, "The only way to get through life is to laugh. You either have to laugh or cry. I'd prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

It's better to look on the bright side of life rather than on the dark side. I love these truths: The cup is half full, not half empty. Things are never hopeless because there's always hope. Happiness rather than sadness. Good trumps bad. Right not wrong.

Nevertheless, everyone has agency and can choose. Why not choose the good; the right; happiness; hope? Things don't always go our way but we can choose whether or not to allow ourselves to get down in the dumps. Sometimes we need a reminder to be grateful, or to count our blessings, or to think positively because the world tends to be negative (and take the path of least resistance) including being selfish, depressed, anxious, rude, unkind, lustful, and greedy. We have to choose to serve, to be kind, to love, to be happy, to have faith, to wait, and to give, because the natural man naturally does the opposite. When we attempt to be godly we combat the natural man. 

A mom will do anything for her kids - the best thing she can do is teach by example. All she can do is encourage, inspire, teach, and pray. Sometimes all she can do is pray and put the thing she prays for in Heavenly Father's hands. Maybe to her it seems like her encouragement, inspiration, and teaching isn't working. A mom never gives up hoping her kids will choose the right, but it might also increase her faith to remember that her child is also Heavenly Father's child and He wants that person to succeed too.

I'd rather say something nice than something derogatory about myself. I like, "I had to have a handicap because I'm too cool; my handicap makes it fair for everyone else!" Why not instill hope rather than fear? I am reminded of the poem "Our Greatest Fear" by Marianne Williamson. 

Our Greatest Fear

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

We truly love you and are your friends.

Covenants

We visited our sisters in October and reminded them that honoring the covenants we've made is important.

We mostly chatted but then I shared my message with them just before we left. Taleen has always read my message for me, but I gave a talk in church in August and she said, "You sounded fine! I think you can read your own message from now on." October was the first month since we've been companions (starting in February) that I've read my own message. Taleen is a great blessing in my life and encourages me to do things I didn't think I could.

Click here to read the October VT message.

Here's my letter to my sisters:

Oct 2012

Dear Sister,

The first thing I did after reading the Visiting Teaching message about covenants was to look up what covenants I’ve made. As far as I can tell, there are two: 1) baptismal covenant and 2) temple covenants. These covenants pertain to eternal life. I want to have eternal life; therefore, I will honor my covenants. That means taking the sacrament every week and doing the promises I’ve made in the temple.

Have you ever thought of the sacrament as having to do with eternal life? In the sacrament prayer it says that if we do the things we pray for, the Lord will pour out his spirit upon us. I’m glad the Lord will bless me right now, but think about this too: if we’re obedient to taking the sacrament every week, we’re one step closer to gaining eternal life.

We encourage you to read what the Lord has promised to those who keep their covenants. Read the scriptures and talks listed in the VT message and realize what the Lord wants to give you.

My covenants with the Lord strengthen me because without them I couldn’t have eternal life. Realizing this makes me feel grateful to the Lord that He promised eternal life to me based on my faithfulness. I don’t mean being saved (we all get that because Jesus rose from the dead,) I mean being exalted and living in the celestial kingdom (we get that based on our faithfulness not just because we’re members of the church.)

We encourage you to take the sacrament, attend the temple, and do your best to faithfully honor your covenants. Take a step back from your life and think about what you ultimately want, then do what you can to get it.

We love you and hope you get your dreams.

The Feeling of Belonging

I searched the words "relief society" in Pintrest, and as I looked at the results I felt a definite sense of gratitude. I felt happy to know I belonged to a group of women and to a church that cares about me. People in my ward know who I am and functions in the church (like home teaching and visiting teaching) mean that someone will visit me. As a member of my church, my name is on a list somewhere.

It gives me comfort to know that no matter where I go in the world, when I tell the church I live there, they'll become my family. What a great blessing it is to know that I'm not forgotten.

Helping Those Who Have Needs

My VT companion and I visited our sisters in August; I really enjoy going to their homes! Each of our sisters are different in their personalities. We talk about different things with them and I love to hear about them and their families and what is going on in their lives. We chat for a while and then, before we leave, we give each of our sisters a spiritual message.

The August message talked about helping our sisters when they have needs. At first I thought about how we take meals to people when they're sick or babysit their kids when they need it. But then it occurred to me that our sisters have more than just physical needs.

I think our sisters will never tell us when they have other needs because they don't want to appear weak or "needy." Our church teaches people to be self-reliant (which is good,) but when people are self-reliant they say they don't need anything because they believe in taking care of themselves. We're taught to rely on the Holy Ghost's promptings to tell us what our sisters need. It's good to rely on Him but, I wish our sisters would tell us, too.

I think differently than most LDS women because since I've been sick I've had to say what I need because I can't do it myself. I believe the people who serve me are glad that I say what I need because they want to show me, through their actions, that they care. Unless I say what I need, they won't help me because they won't want to impose.

I'm glad the people in my church have opportunities to serve each other. (They may think they are just doing their duty, but they are also doing two other things. First, they are showing how much they care. Second, they are being Christlike. They may think, I don't want to do this, but when they serve they get the chance to do something for someone other than themselves.)

Click here to read the August VT message.
Here's the handout we gave to our sisters.

Here's my letter to my sisters:

August 2012

Dear Sister,

The August VT message is about helping sisters when they have a need. The Church Handbook says: “In order to serve, we have a responsibility to be conscious of the needs of the sisters we visit. When we seek inspiration, we will know how to respond to the spiritual and temporal needs of each sister we are assigned to visit. Then, using our time, skills, talents, prayers of faith, and spiritual and emotional support, we can help give compassionate service during times of illness, death, and other special circumstances.”

Helping someone doesn't just mean babysitting their kids or bringing them dinner, but being in tune with the spirit to know the best kind of help a person needs. The best help comes through the spirit's prompting. The thing that helps a sister most is what she needs not what we want to give. (After all, how does it help her if it's not what she needs?)

In speaking for myself, obviously I don't have the ability to provide physical help, but I can provide things like emotional help, a listening ear, kind words, sympathy, and friendship. If my sister needs something that I can't do, either my companion can do it or we'll find a way to get it done.

It's hard to know what our sisters need because they act like they don't need anything. They appear to have it all together when we know they’re struggling. They may never tell us what their needs are, but the spirit will give us intuition to know what our sisters need when we put our trust in him.

The most important thing we can do is act on the promptings we receive. If we feel inspired to call her, send her a card, visit her, invite her to lunch, arrange to have dinner taken to her, or whatever, we need to do it. 

Let’s remember what we can do not what we can’t. When we do what we can, we will feel great love for our sisters and their families.

We love you.

Missionary Work

I have been called for a few months to be a Mission Prep Adviser. It has been my pleasure to hear the boys of my ward (who are mostly Andrew's age) teach me what they know about the gospel. The boys know the gospel, but it's one thing to know it and another thing to teach it. I have great faith in them that they will learn how to teach the gospel as well as how to relate to people. After all, they are teaching people not just lessons.

I think the church's missionary program is inspired. Missionaries are mostly young boys who have primarily thought of themselves. At 19 years old, just when they get freedom, they are expected to go somewhere in the world and serve others for two years. They grow up and become mature from the experience. They learn how to think of others. They learn how to live with a companion. Some of them learn another language. They learn how to teach people. They give of themselves. And they learn a great deal about the gospel, about missionary work, and about the scriptures. It seems to me that they get a lot from the experience.

I believe that being a missionary for two years saves lives. I think this because it gives people a purpose and a chance to think about someone besides themselves. If some people choose to never be missionaries, I believe some of their lives go down hill until, eventually, they hit rock bottom. By the time they reach the bottom, they probably have children who learn from them and who don't get taught what their parent learned on their mission. Those children might not stay members of the church, or, if they do, they might not be strong members and may become people who bring others down. Plus, the person at the bottom now has to work just to get themselves up to the surface: it's good that at least they are going upward, but look at how much time they lost by being selfish - what a waste of time and life!

Young people are the church's next generation. When a person chooses to be a missionary, they become a necessary member of the church because they know the gospel. Other people who don't serve missions become necessary members of the church too, but oft times it takes more than two years for them to really know the gospel. 

Visiting Teaching is a Sacred Assignment

In June, I had the opportunity to share a message with the sisters I VT. My companion read the message to our sisters, then she gave them the things I brought, including: my message, the VT message (click here,) a cute handout to go on their fridge, and a list of ideas of things to do during the summer.

I really love to visit teach; probably because I love people. I truly love the sisters we visit, and hope they know that.

Here's my message:

Dear Sister,

The visiting teaching message for June talks about how visiting teaching is a sacred assignment. Eliza R. Snow said "I consider the office of a teacher to be a high and holy office." 

Did you ever think of yourself as your sister's teacher?

We visit sisters and sometimes don't even get to the message because we're having so much fun talking. But, as a visiting teacher, we have the responsibility to leave our sister with a spiritual thought. 

Maybe what we say will be exactly what our sister needs to hear. How can it help her if she doesn't hear it?

Sometimes visiting teaching is taken too lightly. I've heard sisters say they don't need a lesson that month. Everyone can benefit from hearing a spiritual thought - even if it's just mailed to them and they read it.

Some sisters have lunch (which is fine,) but they never talk about anything spiritual. Let us not forget that we're not only friends but also representatives of the Lord. The Lord would never leave us without uplifting us in some way. Let's uplift our sisters EVEN when sitting in a restaurant.

Some sisters don't see or hear from their visiting teachers until days before the end of the month. Her visiting teacher calls her on a late calendar date and asks if she can make an appointment. I can guarantee that the sister feels like her visiting teacher doesn't care about her, and she feels that her visiting teacher just wants to get her visit done by the end of the month so that when the supervisor calls her and asks "did you do your visiting teaching?" she can say "yes." 

I respond to that situation with this quote by Sister Julie B. Beck, our last General Relief Society President. She said: "Visiting Teaching becomes the Lord's work when our focus is on people rather than percentages. In reality, visiting teaching is never done. It is more a way of life." 

That quote is true, just like this one, "Once a parent, always a parent." Perhaps this is also true, "Once a visiting teaching sister, always a visiting teaching sister." Hopefully, the words 'visiting teaching sister' become replaced with the word 'friend' and this can be said, "Once a friend, always a friend."

If we want our sisters to know we care about them, the best thing to do is to be their genuine friend. Maybe that means to visit each sister early in the month. Perhaps it means to say "Hi" to her whenever she is seen. One thing's for sure; the Lord WILL direct the visiting teacher in what to do, when she asks Him for help.

We don't stop being friends with someone when we get a new friend. Likewise, we shouldn't stop being friends with our visiting teaching sister's when our assignment changes. If we stop doing things (like treating each sister as a friend, saying "Hi" to each of them, or whatever) when we receive new names, the other sister's will consider us fake.

Visiting Teaching is a sacred responsibility. Sister Beck said that ideally every sister should look out for at least one other sister. That's easy for women to do because every woman is loving. Every woman likes to have friends too. Think of your sister's throughout the month and become friends. A friend may be just what she needs.

Women are naturally caring. They feel nice to be around. Let's do like Sister Snow recommends. She said: "If you find a sister feeling cold, take her to your heart like you would a child to your bosom and warm her up."

You have a great capacity to touch someone's life for good.

We love you.

April 2012 General Conference

Wow! What a great conference. I'm glad that I took notes because there's no way I would have remembered a lot of it. We have conference every six months, and I look forward to it more and more. Here are my favorite quotes said over the past two days:

It's possible to be active in the church but inactive in the gospel. -Donald L. Hallstrom

Have the love of Christ. - Paul E. Koelliker

The only thing that matters is the race against sin. -Jeffrey R. Holland

God's concern is that you have faith, not when you got it. -Jeffrey R. Holland

Follow this sermon regarding contention: Stop it! -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Our degree of gratitude is our measure of love for God. -Russell M. Nelson

If you noticed a person was drowning would you ask if they needed help? -Ronald L. Raspband

True doctrine is easy to understand, even to a child. -D. Todd Christofferson

When faced with trials we focus on what is really important. -President Thomas S. Monson

Listen to the word of God, not the world. -L. Tom Perry

The church serves as a catalyst to seek the good in the world. -M. Russell Ballard

Teach children to establish their own connection to heaven. -Larry Y. Wilson

All are loved. All are welcomed. -Larry Y. Wilson

Never delay a prompting. -President Thomas S. Monson

Discipleship is not a competition AT all but an invitation TO all. -Neil L. Andersen

If you're on the road to discipleship, you are on the right road. -Neil L. Andersen

What does Christ think of me? -Neil L. Andersen