Helping Those Who Have Needs

My VT companion and I visited our sisters in August; I really enjoy going to their homes! Each of our sisters are different in their personalities. We talk about different things with them and I love to hear about them and their families and what is going on in their lives. We chat for a while and then, before we leave, we give each of our sisters a spiritual message.

The August message talked about helping our sisters when they have needs. At first I thought about how we take meals to people when they're sick or babysit their kids when they need it. But then it occurred to me that our sisters have more than just physical needs.

I think our sisters will never tell us when they have other needs because they don't want to appear weak or "needy." Our church teaches people to be self-reliant (which is good,) but when people are self-reliant they say they don't need anything because they believe in taking care of themselves. We're taught to rely on the Holy Ghost's promptings to tell us what our sisters need. It's good to rely on Him but, I wish our sisters would tell us, too.

I think differently than most LDS women because since I've been sick I've had to say what I need because I can't do it myself. I believe the people who serve me are glad that I say what I need because they want to show me, through their actions, that they care. Unless I say what I need, they won't help me because they won't want to impose.

I'm glad the people in my church have opportunities to serve each other. (They may think they are just doing their duty, but they are also doing two other things. First, they are showing how much they care. Second, they are being Christlike. They may think, I don't want to do this, but when they serve they get the chance to do something for someone other than themselves.)

Click here to read the August VT message.
Here's the handout we gave to our sisters.

Here's my letter to my sisters:

August 2012

Dear Sister,

The August VT message is about helping sisters when they have a need. The Church Handbook says: “In order to serve, we have a responsibility to be conscious of the needs of the sisters we visit. When we seek inspiration, we will know how to respond to the spiritual and temporal needs of each sister we are assigned to visit. Then, using our time, skills, talents, prayers of faith, and spiritual and emotional support, we can help give compassionate service during times of illness, death, and other special circumstances.”

Helping someone doesn't just mean babysitting their kids or bringing them dinner, but being in tune with the spirit to know the best kind of help a person needs. The best help comes through the spirit's prompting. The thing that helps a sister most is what she needs not what we want to give. (After all, how does it help her if it's not what she needs?)

In speaking for myself, obviously I don't have the ability to provide physical help, but I can provide things like emotional help, a listening ear, kind words, sympathy, and friendship. If my sister needs something that I can't do, either my companion can do it or we'll find a way to get it done.

It's hard to know what our sisters need because they act like they don't need anything. They appear to have it all together when we know they’re struggling. They may never tell us what their needs are, but the spirit will give us intuition to know what our sisters need when we put our trust in him.

The most important thing we can do is act on the promptings we receive. If we feel inspired to call her, send her a card, visit her, invite her to lunch, arrange to have dinner taken to her, or whatever, we need to do it. 

Let’s remember what we can do not what we can’t. When we do what we can, we will feel great love for our sisters and their families.

We love you.

Missionary Work

I have been called for a few months to be a Mission Prep Adviser. It has been my pleasure to hear the boys of my ward (who are mostly Andrew's age) teach me what they know about the gospel. The boys know the gospel, but it's one thing to know it and another thing to teach it. I have great faith in them that they will learn how to teach the gospel as well as how to relate to people. After all, they are teaching people not just lessons.

I think the church's missionary program is inspired. Missionaries are mostly young boys who have primarily thought of themselves. At 19 years old, just when they get freedom, they are expected to go somewhere in the world and serve others for two years. They grow up and become mature from the experience. They learn how to think of others. They learn how to live with a companion. Some of them learn another language. They learn how to teach people. They give of themselves. And they learn a great deal about the gospel, about missionary work, and about the scriptures. It seems to me that they get a lot from the experience.

I believe that being a missionary for two years saves lives. I think this because it gives people a purpose and a chance to think about someone besides themselves. If some people choose to never be missionaries, I believe some of their lives go down hill until, eventually, they hit rock bottom. By the time they reach the bottom, they probably have children who learn from them and who don't get taught what their parent learned on their mission. Those children might not stay members of the church, or, if they do, they might not be strong members and may become people who bring others down. Plus, the person at the bottom now has to work just to get themselves up to the surface: it's good that at least they are going upward, but look at how much time they lost by being selfish - what a waste of time and life!

Young people are the church's next generation. When a person chooses to be a missionary, they become a necessary member of the church because they know the gospel. Other people who don't serve missions become necessary members of the church too, but oft times it takes more than two years for them to really know the gospel. 

Visiting Teaching is a Sacred Assignment

In June, I had the opportunity to share a message with the sisters I VT. My companion read the message to our sisters, then she gave them the things I brought, including: my message, the VT message (click here,) a cute handout to go on their fridge, and a list of ideas of things to do during the summer.

I really love to visit teach; probably because I love people. I truly love the sisters we visit, and hope they know that.

Here's my message:

Dear Sister,

The visiting teaching message for June talks about how visiting teaching is a sacred assignment. Eliza R. Snow said "I consider the office of a teacher to be a high and holy office." 

Did you ever think of yourself as your sister's teacher?

We visit sisters and sometimes don't even get to the message because we're having so much fun talking. But, as a visiting teacher, we have the responsibility to leave our sister with a spiritual thought. 

Maybe what we say will be exactly what our sister needs to hear. How can it help her if she doesn't hear it?

Sometimes visiting teaching is taken too lightly. I've heard sisters say they don't need a lesson that month. Everyone can benefit from hearing a spiritual thought - even if it's just mailed to them and they read it.

Some sisters have lunch (which is fine,) but they never talk about anything spiritual. Let us not forget that we're not only friends but also representatives of the Lord. The Lord would never leave us without uplifting us in some way. Let's uplift our sisters EVEN when sitting in a restaurant.

Some sisters don't see or hear from their visiting teachers until days before the end of the month. Her visiting teacher calls her on a late calendar date and asks if she can make an appointment. I can guarantee that the sister feels like her visiting teacher doesn't care about her, and she feels that her visiting teacher just wants to get her visit done by the end of the month so that when the supervisor calls her and asks "did you do your visiting teaching?" she can say "yes." 

I respond to that situation with this quote by Sister Julie B. Beck, our last General Relief Society President. She said: "Visiting Teaching becomes the Lord's work when our focus is on people rather than percentages. In reality, visiting teaching is never done. It is more a way of life." 

That quote is true, just like this one, "Once a parent, always a parent." Perhaps this is also true, "Once a visiting teaching sister, always a visiting teaching sister." Hopefully, the words 'visiting teaching sister' become replaced with the word 'friend' and this can be said, "Once a friend, always a friend."

If we want our sisters to know we care about them, the best thing to do is to be their genuine friend. Maybe that means to visit each sister early in the month. Perhaps it means to say "Hi" to her whenever she is seen. One thing's for sure; the Lord WILL direct the visiting teacher in what to do, when she asks Him for help.

We don't stop being friends with someone when we get a new friend. Likewise, we shouldn't stop being friends with our visiting teaching sister's when our assignment changes. If we stop doing things (like treating each sister as a friend, saying "Hi" to each of them, or whatever) when we receive new names, the other sister's will consider us fake.

Visiting Teaching is a sacred responsibility. Sister Beck said that ideally every sister should look out for at least one other sister. That's easy for women to do because every woman is loving. Every woman likes to have friends too. Think of your sister's throughout the month and become friends. A friend may be just what she needs.

Women are naturally caring. They feel nice to be around. Let's do like Sister Snow recommends. She said: "If you find a sister feeling cold, take her to your heart like you would a child to your bosom and warm her up."

You have a great capacity to touch someone's life for good.

We love you.

April 2012 General Conference

Wow! What a great conference. I'm glad that I took notes because there's no way I would have remembered a lot of it. We have conference every six months, and I look forward to it more and more. Here are my favorite quotes said over the past two days:

It's possible to be active in the church but inactive in the gospel. -Donald L. Hallstrom

Have the love of Christ. - Paul E. Koelliker

The only thing that matters is the race against sin. -Jeffrey R. Holland

God's concern is that you have faith, not when you got it. -Jeffrey R. Holland

Follow this sermon regarding contention: Stop it! -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Our degree of gratitude is our measure of love for God. -Russell M. Nelson

If you noticed a person was drowning would you ask if they needed help? -Ronald L. Raspband

True doctrine is easy to understand, even to a child. -D. Todd Christofferson

When faced with trials we focus on what is really important. -President Thomas S. Monson

Listen to the word of God, not the world. -L. Tom Perry

The church serves as a catalyst to seek the good in the world. -M. Russell Ballard

Teach children to establish their own connection to heaven. -Larry Y. Wilson

All are loved. All are welcomed. -Larry Y. Wilson

Never delay a prompting. -President Thomas S. Monson

Discipleship is not a competition AT all but an invitation TO all. -Neil L. Andersen

If you're on the road to discipleship, you are on the right road. -Neil L. Andersen

What does Christ think of me? -Neil L. Andersen

A Great Graphic

The graphic, done by the church, describes Mormons well.
Click here to read FAQ's about Mormons.
To learn more about what Mormons believe click here.

I Love to See the Temple

"I Love to See the Temple" are words to a famous Mormon song. I love that song and do love to see the temple.

Next month (in April) will be an open house for the KC Temple in Shoal Creek. Anyone can come to the open house before it's dedicated and tour the building. After it is dedicated, only Mormons, who show their temple recommend at the reception desk, will be allowed inside.

Here's a link that shows the dates of the open house: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZa-qtQ_wBc&list=PL295254BDC885BDB5&index=1&feature=plpp_video

Mormons believe that temples are houses of the Lord. They go there to get instruction about life and to do work for people who no longer live. Even when they do temple work for someone else they too learn. I'm glad that we will soon be able to use this place. 

Preparing to Visit

I went visiting teaching with my companion a couple days ago. She made the appointments and I gave the message. (I typed my message so I wouldn't have to talk a lot, then asked my companion to read it to each sister we visited.) We gave them what I typed, as well as a copy of the VT message for the month.

I think I will write my thoughts about the VT message every month, even when it's not my turn to share. I will do this because it will give me a chance to really ponder the message. In the past I remember so many times that I quickly scanned the message before my appointment and sometimes that I didn't read the message at all. After I got to my sister's house, we visited but I didn't have a spiritual message to leave with her - how could I have left a message with her when I hadn't even read it?

I've lived in the moment most of my life. Looking back, sometimes I thought of something I could have done, but the thought came too late for me to do anything. Regarding VT, my lack of preparedness doesn't allow me to think about my sister. (Maybe not doing as much as I did before has freed my time now to where I prepare. Maybe I prepare now because I'm older. I don't know, however, what I do know is that I no longer feel guilty for being unprepared.) I feel love for each sister I visit. I want them to know that I think of them as my friend. I want to show them that I care. (I believe that one of the ways I can do that is by preparing for our appointment.)

Here's what I said in my letter to my sisters this month:

March 2012

Dear Sister,

This month's visiting teaching message is called "Daughters in My Kingdom." The message begins with "We are daughters of our Father in Heaven.  He knows us, loves us, and has a plan for us." This is such a man's world. I see how women can be considered property, or objects, or inhuman. I am thankful to be reminded that I have always had a female identity. I am also thankful to know that God has a plan for me. I know that He will make all things right in the end and the world where I end up will be a man and women's world. Until then, what I can do is be the best person I can be.

What can we do to help you reach your potential as a daughter of God?

Sister Julie B. Beck said: “As daughters of God, you are preparing for eternal designations, and each of you has a female identity, nature, and responsibility. The success of families, communities, this Church, and the precious plan of salvation is dependent on your faithfulness. … [Our Heavenly Father] intended Relief Society to help build His people and prepare them for the blessings of the temple. He established [Relief Society] to align His daughters with His work and to enlist their help in building His kingdom and strengthening the homes of Zion.”

It’s true that the success of families, communities, our church, and the plan of salvation is based upon how well I give myself to each thing. I am happy to know that I contribute to success. I am glad to know that my positive attitude not only rubs off on my family but on others as well. In fact, who knows upon whom I have an impact?

I appreciate what President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said about discipleship. He said: “By patiently walking in the path of discipleship, we demonstrate to ourselves the measure of our faith and our willingness to accept God’s will rather than ours.”

Heavenly Father knows more than we do and we need to trust that he has our best interest in mind. I think I try to control things in my life because I think if I don’t then the worst will happen. I need to remember that God is good and good things will happen when I trust him. Maybe I can’t see the good thing but he can. In the end, all things done will have been for my good.

In 1893, Zina D. H. Young, who was then the third President of the Relief Society said: “If you will dig in the depths of your own hearts you will find, with the aid of the Spirit of the Lord, the pearl of great price, the testimony of this work.”

I really like this quote because no one can gain my testimony but me. I must do the work to get it. I, and only I, am responsible for my beliefs. Some people think that their testimony isn’t enough when compared to so-and-so. I don’t think that’s fair to compare my beliefs to someone else’s. When I compare what I knew then to what I know now, I realize that I DO have a testimony and it is good enough for God. He wants to see progression not perfection.

I’ll never forget what a guy said in conference when talking about someone who thought he couldn’t be a missionary because he didn’t know it all. The guy said “you know enough.” I believe people who are active in the church do have a testimony otherwise they would be inactive. They may not know it all but they know enough. I think what Zina Young is saying in her quote is “be committed to what you DO know.”

You are blessed to be a daughter of God. You were meant to be a woman not a man. Be proud of that. Your attitude will affect everyone around you - do you want to have a positive or negative impact? Trust God that he knows what’s good for you. And trust yourself that you know enough.

We love you and are here for whatever you need. I hope you know that.

Click here to read the visiting teaching message.